I'm not rich by a long shot, but I am able to live within my means. I remember several times in my life that I have been so down, so low, that I couldn't afford to feed my family. Literally not having a penny in my pocket for the necessities, never mind an occasional indulgence. I look back at those times in horror, and I vow that I will never, ever be in that place again. I have money in the bank, but this is due to my diligence and being careful as to how our family use that money.
But this thing called life happens to the best of us, and it's currently kicked a couple I know, when they were already down. After having a life-threatening condition operated on last year, life decided to stick the boot in with a redundancy. With a troop of children to feed, and we all know - wherever we live in the world, that unemployment is rife. I spoke to one of them yesterday and they told me - not to garner sympathy or attention - just stating a basic fact, that they had just been food shopping with x amount of money and had tried to make it stretch as far as they could. The x amount of money was a paltry sum, but I knew what they meant, because I had been there. I had been there with even less money than that, doing the sums in my head as I went along, looking for the cheapest way to fill us all up.
This couple aren't best friends, they're not friends with us socially, but the woman of the family is someone who has been a friend all my life. They are a lovely couple, and although I don't know him that well, I know she is the sort that would do absolutely anything for anyone if she could, and she would give her last penny to someone less fortunate than herself.
I'd been thinking, pondering about it since I saw them, and this morning, without my having to say anything, my husband announced that he'd been thinking about yesterday, and he'd just wanted to give them his wallet and tell them to go shopping. I said that I'd been wondering if there was a way I could buy some groceries online and have them delivered anonymously, but doubted that I could. I knew even if I could do that it would have been obvious that it was me. I then had the worry that they would be offended. I know I personally wouldn't have been offended to receive something like that when I was on my knees, but some people have much more pride than that. I don't think she would be offended, but I don't know him enough to second guess his reaction.
So, I've decided, rather than embarrassing them by rolling up with bags full of shopping, the next time I'm in the supermarket I'm going to buy a £50 gift card for them. This week, my cupboards and freezer are full, I don't need to shop for food this week, and someone I know does, so I think it's the right thing to do. I will send it with a card telling them I don't want them to pay me back, but I want them to pay it forward. When they're back on their feet and someone they know is struggling, then hopefully they can do something kind to help that person. It's something I'd prefer to do anonymously but in this case I can't.
So, I've decided, rather than embarrassing them by rolling up with bags full of shopping, the next time I'm in the supermarket I'm going to buy a £50 gift card for them. This week, my cupboards and freezer are full, I don't need to shop for food this week, and someone I know does, so I think it's the right thing to do. I will send it with a card telling them I don't want them to pay me back, but I want them to pay it forward. When they're back on their feet and someone they know is struggling, then hopefully they can do something kind to help that person. It's something I'd prefer to do anonymously but in this case I can't.
